NYC Dating Coach, Megan Weks helps women find their inner self and attract the right relationship for them. She gives the right tools to women so they can feel empowered and make positive changes in their dating life and more broadly their life. Her coaching approach is a powerful guide to connection and lasting love.
Read her insights and perspective on dating and relationship in this awesome interview.
1. Can you tell us a bit about you, your background and how you became a dating coach?
I could always attract men but I could not keep them for a longer period of time. I knew I was doing something wrong and I knew I could figure things out much faster if I learned from others who had the results I was seeking. I found my own dating guru/coach, Rori Raye, and studied her work over time and saw promising changes. When I finally dared to start executing my dating life exactly as my guru suggested, I met and fell in love with my gorgeous, loving, husband. I later studied under this women and was certified in her coaching school. Overall, I dated in Manhattan for over a decade and am an expert on dating in this town. You become an expert by making all possible mistakes in one area of expertise!
2. What do you love the most about helping others with dating/relationship coaching?
I absolutely love helping women avoid the unnecessary heartbreak we seem to all put ourselves through. The pain, while we attribute it to the men we are dating, is really a jail cell that we place our own hearts in. When I can empower a women to see things in a whole new way, she is free from this cell and is able to attract the love she desires, effortlessly. A woman becomes free by loving herself and her surroundings first and releasing her need to control outcomes.
3. Can you tell us about the services you offer?
A client’s most radical change will happen from spending good time together. I offer a three-month intensive 1:1 program and am now launching a community to make coaching available to all women at much more “in-reach” price-point. I currently work closely with my amazing community of women in my wonderful Facebook Group, Meet, Attract, and Marry Your Soulmate Now. Come on over and request entry. The women in my group will be the first to hear about my upcoming coaching offer.
4. What type of clientele usually comes to you for coaching or other services?
Women are hardened and sitting in their blind spots, suffering. The woman that I can help is the one who has become aware that her current way of doing this is not serving her and she is ready to trust that she may learn something from someone who has the results that she is dreaming of. She needs to be ready to look at things differently and to be open to new strategies that challenge what today’s experts are putting out there. Today’s experts have left those who are not succeeding in love with advice that is sending them further down the wrong path. You see, people learn new strategies for everything else in their world, which they want to improve, i.e. their job, businesses, working out, sports, hobbies, etc. But they block themselves from learning new strategies in love because they attribute it to “rules,” which people do not want to abide by in love, in our time. For example, there is an excellent book, “Attached” by Amir Levine, M. D., and Rachel S.F. Heller, M. A., on the new science of adult attachment, which helps us understand and categorize human relationship styles. It does provide great clarity, however the classification it provides gives women who aren’t succeeding in love, a way to continue to have perceived control in their worlds by labeling the men. If a man does not want commitment with her she can easily label him as a person who has “Avoident” attachment style. This style is defined as someone who equates intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly tries to minimize closeness. You can see how this gives the woman an out from taking responsibility from her contribution to his disinterest in commitment with her. Without accepting her responsibility, she is unable to learn or heal and will likely to make the same mistakes next time a man comes around. Today’s women subconsciously maintain a sense of control as a defense mechanism. Her perceived sense of control is an illusion, which is not serving her. It’s her continued striving for control, which is damaging her ability to attract and maintain a high quality relationship.
Many women are naturals in love and can make their own rules. My job is to provide some tools to women who are not naturals. These tools guide you to the level of self-love needed to transform into a natural. Most women think they love themselves plenty. But the results speak. If a woman is not in the relationship she wishes to be in over any significant amount of time, the reason is her self-love is lacking in ways she is unable to see. It’s her blind spot. And she generally has no clue how to lift herself out of it. This is all tied in to her control issues and fears as well. It’s a culmination of interwoven forces, which need to be challenged, reframed, and primed for the relationship.
5. Any success stories you can tell us about?
At this point, I have many marriages under my belt and am thrilled for these couples. A woman who has learned how to live with a masculine male through these methods is an enlightened partner who knows how to keep the attraction flowing over time.
6. What makes the NYC dating scene so intriguing and yet interesting?
NYC is the most humbling and intriguing place to live all at the same time. You’ll truly be up against the steepest competition around. If you have the tools to sit down on that date and create an emotional connection with a man from moment one, you’ll stand out from the crowd. It’s my passion and duty to give women these tools. It doesn’t have to be so difficult out there. You have so much to offer the right man.
7. Do you think it’s difficult to find a date in the City? Why?
I do not. If you’re having a hard time finding a date you’re doing something wrong.
8. What should people do to attract the right partner in their life?
The first step in attracting the right partner is to deepen your relationship with yourself and define what you truly want. The more you know yourself inside and out and are able to communicate this to others, the more interesting and magnetizing you will be to your correct match! This is easier said than done. It takes deep introspection to get to this point and having a guide for this process is often necessary. If you are showing up with inauthenticities, they will come back to haunt you later. Also, if you don’t set your intention and get your message out, you’ll miss the target. Wishy-washy intentions equal wishy-washy results!
9. What are what you call the “Four Greatest Errors”?
The Four Errors are an introductory guide that will help women catch themselves if they are making detrimental mistakes. My work goes a lot deeper but this is an e-book you’ll receive as my free gift when you subscribe to my site www.meganweks.com You wouldn’t want to be dating without taking a look at it just to be certain you’re on the right track. Truth be told, if you have the right energetic projection in dating you can do whatever you want. Your mistakes won’t matter. But if you are having problems you’ll want to use this as a guide while you practice with men and gain the skills you need for success.
10. Tell us about your “Lean Back Principles”.
There is an unspoken amount of energetic space inside of every relationship between two people. Your understanding of how to function within this space will determine the polarity of your relationship. A relationship must have polarity for attraction to live and thrive. I call this sexual velocity. If you can wrap your head around these concepts, you’ll be able to maintain the attraction with your man for the long haul. And you’ll want to. Because when his attraction is lost, so is his motivation to please you and make you happy. Men are simple creatures once you really get this.
11. What’s the ideal first date for you?
City life is hard and expensive. It’s tiresome for a women to put herself together for many dates per week. If you want to be on the fast track to meeting your match, you need to consolidate and maximize your time. A first date should be a quick drink, coffee, or a walk on the Highline. If there is a spark you take more time getting to know him on a deeper level over a dinner or activity on the second date. The first client who followed my advice and started to meet two men in one evening for quick first dates, became engaged and married within the year after not having a boyfriend in ten years.
12. What’s the ultimate dating advice you give to your clients?
Don’t invest time and heart until a man is formally invested in you or close to formally invested in you. Most women are looking for a husband. Most men are looking for a girlfriend. We give them our girlfriend status so quickly and easily and we think it’s a win. Well, it is a win. For him. Now he can be lazy and have us come over to his apartment and sleep with him after Netflix and chill for indefinite months or years. Spending many months or years in a girlfriend pattern is not serving you if what you truly want is to become engaged. Until you know he is serious and ready to head in the direction that YOU want, don’t become exclusive with him. During the dating, or what I can the “Exploratory Phase,” you can spend time learning about him, about his intentions, and see if he is a strong enough candidate to risk being a girlfriend for.
13. What are the things men should avoid doing when looking for a date? What about women?
Women frequently and intentionally choose men who will not love them the way they are looking to be loved. They can show me the profiles and I can tell instantly they are not choosing the wholesome, available men, who will fulfill them. When this becomes a pattern, it’s a sign she has more work to do on loving her own life, soul, and surroundings. Men should look for a woman who is not afraid to show her vulnerable side. This is a sign that she is comfortable with herself and her feelings and that he can trust his feelings with her.
14. What do you think about Online Dating for finding a date?
It’s important to have multiple avenues of meeting people when you’re looking for the one. A woman who has expanded her intuition muscle through self-work can easily look at a profile and get a gut feeling if someone is worth a date. Through personal enlightenment, yoga, meditation, and self knowledge, you will grow not only better at dating and relationships but better at picking out profiles and streamline your dating process altogether. The most valuable work is the work we do on ourselves.
15. Anything you’d like to add?
Do not grasp on to one person who is not serving you. As I like to say, “Next!”