We’ve all heard of dating sites promoting love affairs, casual dating and hook-ups, but so few about loyalty/faithfulness dating sites.
Fidelity Dating is the first of its kind. Its daunting mission is to connect serious online daters looking with faithful mates.
Gary, founder of FidelityDating.com (launched early this year), is proving that true fidelity in a committed relationship is not a myth. He is creating a safe place for people that he calls the “infidelity survivors”(term used in psychology) – people who have been cheated on and have suffered from the trauma of unfaithfulness. He is so dedicated to the cause that he has been donating part of the proceeds from the website to SurvivingInfidelity (A charity supporting infidelity victims with emotional support).
In this short interview, he gives us an intuitive understanding of the fidelity and infidelity dating worlds.
1. How did you come up with this website idea?
A lot of my friends, who have been cheated on, were afraid to date because of a reoccurrence and then it dawned upon me that there are a lot of people in the same situation and that by connecting them they could relate and understand each other.
Can you explain the concept of your website?
The concept of website is to connect single infidelity survivors with one another for friendship or romance.
What are, according to you, the main excuse used by cheaters?
Men tend to cheat for sexual and women cheat for emotional reasons. Women want more intimacy, attention, and to feel desired. Men want variety in sex. Young women under 25 for many of the same reasons that men do.
According to you, when is it ok to trust your date? Can you trust 100%?
FD was created because after being cheated on people have trust issues and each individual person will trust at their own pace.
It’s our belief that our members will find and fall in love with someone and will trust them 100%.
Why is it so difficult to find a date nowadays?
It’s difficult for people who survive affairs to find a date because they don’t want to get betrayed and hurt again.
What advice would you give a person who have been cheated on and is discouraged by the dating game?
The advice we would give someone who was cheated on and who are discouraged by the dating game is: you are not alone, there are many others who had their lives destroyed by adultery. Fidelity Dating is your site, don’t be discouraged connect with others who have gone through similar traumas.
Can a cheater become faithful? With the right person?
It depends on why the person cheated and what the end result was. Cheating has to with the cheater more than the person being cheated on. Depends on what the result was: did they get caught, lose money, reputation etc. If they haven’t lost anything then if nothing bad happens more than likely they will probably continue to cheat. Guilt is a major factor in how they will feel. It’s not about changing partners and then I will never cheat. It’s about the consequences of their cheating and how they react.
It is our belief that some cheaters do really feel guilty and would never cheat again while other cheaters are going to continue with their unfaithful ways.
Some people cheat because they are not fully in love but when they meet the right person they will stay monogamous.
How to you define infidelity?
Our broad definition of Infidelity is: Anytime that you hide, cover-up, lie or mislead a significant other about your actions which may cause them pain.
How do you detect infidelity?
“Is He Cheating on You? 829 Tell Tale Signs.” By Ruth Houston
The biggest thing is change. There are 20 Categories of Cheating and the basic thing is if they are in tune with their mate you will notice changes in their behavior, eating habits, comes out of the blue, usually being influenced by affair partner…drastic changes. Key in on those changes. If you see a lot of changes and not a reason then something is going on and it is usually infidelity.
Would say infidelity is preventable?
It depends on the situation. The best way to safeguard against is to have the infidelity talk. What do you consider cheating? If you don’t agree that online cheating is the same then you need to be on the same page of what constitutes infidelity. That goes much farther in preventing infidelity. How far do we go on acting on attractions? Opposite sex friendships? If you are in agreement about these that is how you can prevent it.
A source for speaking about preventing infidelity would be Elda M. Lopez. She’s been on both sides of the fence and has written a book called, THE (IN)FIDELITY FACTOR: Points to Ponder Before You Cheat. Her premise is that infidelity is preventable, if personal accountability is taken into serious consideration. For more info, her website is: http://eldamlopez.com. Her book is available through Amazon.
11. Anything you would like to add?
Our mission at FD is to build the largest community of single infidelity survivors who are looking for friendship or romance. We understand how much infidelity can damage your trust and you may find it almost impossible to date again. This is why we created this safe haven for those who have been cheated on to rejoin the dating pool.
On that hopeful note, let’s end with FD’s slogan “Love is precious. Stay faithful.”
Visit FidelityDating.com to find love.