If you knew someone was cheating on their significant other (SO) would you tell? There are many layers to this question. For instance, how close are you with the person who is being cheated on? Do you have proof or just your word? How serious are they with the cheater?

Plenty of people ask this question and lots of people have lived it.   The outcomes range from good to terrible. Best case scenario would be that the person who is being cheated on believes you and thanks you because they suspected as much. However, they could end up confronting and staying or confronting and leaving the cheater. Either of these can have happy endings or tragic ones. If they leave they may go broke or in debt, be alone and depressed, or they may start a new happy life. If they stay they may be miserable in a rocky relationship or the cheater may change and they live happily ever after.

Other possibilities may occur like the person being cheated on doesn’t believe you and resents you. You can be seen as a trouble maker. As the messenger you may become the villain.

Here is one way to broach the subject… Send a blind email to the person being cheated on:

“To All:

Someone I know is conducting a survey, please respond and return to me as soon as possible.

  1. If you found out someone was being cheated on would you tell them?
  2. If you were being cheated on would you want to know?
  3. Would you take someone’s word or would you need proof?
  4. Would you stay or leave your cheating partner?”

Even though you send this email to only one person, the one being cheated on since it is a blind CC and says “To All”, they will think you sent this to many people but you are really just trying to get insight on whether or not you should tell them. If they reply they need proof and you have none then you may not want to tell. If they state they would stay then you may not want to tell them either.

I would like to get comments on this subject and feedback on the following questions:

If you caught your SO cheating and the person he/she was cheating with has a SO then would you tell the SO of the person cheating with your partner about the relationship?

Does the other woman or man’s SO deserve to know?