Dating rules are highly influenced by the culture and habits of a country and its people.
I’m a French native with Caribbean origins living in New York for a few years and have seen it all. I’ve met people from different countries, different American states etc. I’m in a good position to talk about France and New York Dating. (Two cultures I know extensively!)
First of all, there are a lot of prejudices about French people, that I need to take down.
– French girls are not easy. As in every Country you have girls that will get in bed more or less quickly not particularly French girls.
– French girls are not all uptight and arrogant. same thing as the above, let’s not generalize.
– French girls are not crazy.
I remember that episode of Law and Order in which a mother, native from France, was getting crazy and overwhelmed over the abduction of her son. They excused her behavior by the fact that she was French. I shaked my head off… (Seriously??!!)
What is true though is that most, French girls like lingerie, style and proper manners. We like romance too (no wonder it’s a French Word!). We say what we think and won’t hesitate to complain to state our disappointment.
French women are not as direct as New York women, when it comes to the dating chase. They don’t put themselves out there. They generally wait to be wooed and courted.
Here are a few things you should do when dating a French girl (These rules work well with European women and ladies in general)
– If you go for a dinner date, pick a nice restaurant. We do like nice cuisine. Ask her for a place she likes, if you don’t know where to go.
– If you chose another kind of date, make sure it’s cosy and not too loud.
– Wear a proper attire. No sneakers, please. Fitted clothes, dress shoes will work fine.
– Be groomed (shaved, nice hair cut)
– Put on a nice perfume
– Compliment her on her outfit or her look
– Pay for dinner or the date
– Don’t talk about salary. (In France we don’t talk about salary as openly as in the US)
– Make sure you know what you getting into: kissing or sleeping can very likely mean you’re exclusive. Open the exclusivity subject beforehand so you don’t get any surprise. If you want to be more subtile, tell her that you know the French rules ( See explanations below).
– Be patient. You might not get a kiss until the 3rd date. (you may quickly run out of baseball bases;-))
– Go with the flow. They are no set rules for when to kiss or sleep.
– Don’t tell too many clichés about France. We hate it. A couple can be ok to fill in the blanks or make her laugh.
– Learn a few words in French and diffuse them during the date. It will make her smile…
– Have a word… And keep it! We always do what we say we will do and we expect the same from our contacts or dates!! If you know you won’t do it, don’t say anything! It can be calling, going on a second date…
Multiple dating doesn’t exist in France. (Or it’s called cheating!). Plus, technically French women don’t date… At least not the American way. And the word exclusivity?! Well, let’s put it that way I Iearned this word (in that context) about 10 years ago when I first came to the USA
Basically, once you kiss a lady…. You’re exclusive, boyfriend-girlfriend. Chocking?! Well, that’s the one rule. In France, the boyfriend-girlfriend thing is not as big of a deal as over here. Well, Ok, the only time it can be admitted is in parties, clubs or bars after being wasted by a few drinks. (I’ve never done it but I have acquaintances/friends who did and, well, they knew what they were in for with their partners)
Despite those are the rules to use for a lot of French girls, when we move out here, we try as best as we can to go along with the NY dating standards (despite the complaint. Few have succeeded!!
Some Frenchmen do enjoy being non-exclusivity and dating different women at once (Many will understand why ;-))
Any questions or need for advice about French dating? Feel free to ask firstname.lastname@example.org