Well, Chivalry is neither dead not outdated.
I want to believe that there are still gentlemen in this busy, everyone-for-themselves world. And that they are still ladies who get flattered by a beautiful gesture from a date.
I remember that day when I opened and held the door to a woman that was barely 5 seconds away from me. She thanked me for more a few seconds, telling me I was so kind and that nowadays rare are the people who take the time to do this kind of polite actions. And that’s so true! (And I’m a woman!)
Just count out how many times in a day men show a gentleman’s action like letting you go in front of them when you enter a place, hold the door for you, let you take their subway seat…
You’ll call me old-fashioned but I do love little chivalry attentions; the ones that make you smile and feel special.
Unfortunately, now the norm seems to be not to expect anything from your date on the first date. It has become surprising to go out with a man who is actually acting like a gentleman.
Ok… Chivalry is no longer what it was in the medieval times, when the Damsel in distress was expecting her knight to protect her.
Now, more and more women wants to be independent and considered equal to men. Still…deep down, acts of Chivalry are always appreciated and women loves to be courted (no matter what we say!).
Unfortunately, NYC men are not always as chivalrous as women would like.
Here are 10 things you can do to win your damsel over on the 1st date:
Hold the door
That’s the minimum. It’s actually kind of rude not to do it.
Offer your coat
That’s an old-fashioned trick. Be willing to be chilly for a few minutes to actually be closer to her in the end. If you can cope with the cold to make her comfortable, she will grateful.
Pick-up the bill
With the feminist sentiment growing, more and more women are ok to split the bill. Some will even insist to split or pay the entire bill. You can concede a little by telling her that the desert (in another place), movie ticket is on her.
Get the car
If the car is parked away from your dating place, and it’s chilly, raining, snowing or she you simply want to spare her the walk, ask her if she is ok to wait in a waiting area while you go get the car.
Drive her home (or get her a Uber)
It’s nice to give women the courtesy to drive her home. You don’t have a car? Well, order a Uber or take the subway with her. The subway will give you the time to spend a few more minutes together. \
Check on her
If you haven’t driven her home, text her or call her to make sure she got home safe. It can go from “Thanks for that beautiful evening” to “It was a lovely evening” or “I had a nice time”. It’s also the perfect occasion to also slip the fact that you had a good time.
Step in if there is any issue
Dates are not always perfectly. Many things can happen and put a dark cloud on your nice Rendez-Vous: You (both) can be served by a rude waiter, she can be talked to in an impolite way…. Ask her if she doesn’t mind if you intervene in case of an altercation ( As it’s happening, not before ;-))
Always let her go first
When you’re entering a room, walking into a small space, ordering food…Always let her be first!
Call when you say you will
It’s like in business, if you say you’ll call and gave a certain time frame, do it! Otherwise she won’t take you seriously. You’ll have to work twice as hard to show her she can actually take your word for it.
Women love compliment. They may react with more or less grace and indifference but that would still be greatly appreciated. Compliment her on her outfit: “Your dress is gorgeous”. Compliment her “Your look beautiful/Stunning”.
Now that we’ve rounded up the essentials of Chivalry. The key is to be nice and charming, show good manners and be respectful.
Share your experience with Chivalry. When was the last time you were courted? Do you think Chivalry still happens in NYC?
Share your thoughts at firstname.lastname@example.org.